Hi Peeps,

Have you seen the wonderful BBC series, ‘ Gone Fishing’,  featuring Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse?  I think it’s fantastic. Being stuck out in Iraq, I stumbled across it one evening when searching for something, anything to entertain me. And there, on BBC iPlayer was a strange program about fishing.

Paul Whithouse and Bob Mortimer. Gone Fishing on BBC

For those of you who haven’t seen it, let me try to summarize it for you.  It turns out Bob and Paul are long term friends and both are recovering from serious heart conditions. Paul had a series of stents fitted and Bob had a triple bypass, a far more senior operation as he points out in the opening preamble each week. To help with both the physical and mental recovery from these heart health issues, Paul a life long angling enthusiast encouraged  Bob, a far less experienced angler to accompany him on fishing expeditions. In the fresh air, amidst generally gorgeous country side, the pair attempt a different piscine quarry each week. Bob arranges the often quirky accommodation and also prepares heart healthy food for the pair. And this is all tied together by the two old chums talking utter bollocks and having a laugh. I love it.

Gone Fishing

It must have been a fascinating pitch to the BBC bosses. ‘ We have two old blokes with dodgy tickers, standing in or by a river each week, talking a lot of nonsense and eating healthily’   And what then?  ‘ Er, well nothing. That’s pretty much it’ . Well do they catch lots of fish and make some kind of  moral or ethical point on modern society. ‘ Erm, not really,  but Bob does fall over now and again. ‘

Regardless, the first season was a huge success. I binge watched it and  then watched it all again even buying the

Gone Fishing the book

accompanying book and sending  copies to my best chums, whilst mentally organising fishing trips for us. The first expedition with a good mate to  the Welsh Dee near Llangollen for the very pretty Grayling is sorted out for this October. We have opted to avoid the serious heart condition first, but it seems this isn’t compulsory, fortunately.

It must be a male thing as Wifey just doesn’t get it. When I got home from Iraq, I pretty much forced her to sit and watch an episode with me. I’d told her it was the best thing I had seen on TV in a long while and up there with TopGear or The GrandTour as it is these days.  We watched the one where the boys are after sea-trout in the famous Bridge Pool in Dorset, before heading out to sea for sea bass for their supper. Despite having already seen the episode twice, I grinned and chuckled from start to finish. Meanwhile I was conscious of the sideward glances and look of incredulity from wifey. At the end I asked her what she thought?  I can’t really repeat  what she said, but to paraphrase, she wasn’t impressed, but complained that was 30 minutes of her life she would never get back.

Fortunately, the BBC don’t agree with her and commissioned a second season.  The first few episodes aired whilst I was home recently. I demonstrated my god like willpower and resisted all urges to watch them.  Instead, I was going to wait and watch them here, back in Iraq. I’m away for 6 weeks, so an episode per week as a 30 minute escape and reminder of home.  It’s the little things that make life out here bearable.

The Horror- Denied

But no. Horror of horrors, I cannot access the Beebs iPlayer this tour.  Previously, I have input a suitable DNS address

The Horror- Denied

into my Apple TV box and voila. I was for all intents and purposes back in the UK. Failing that, I had VPN on my iPad. But I have been rumbled and hence, denied.  Both on the Apple Box and the Ipad, I am getting apologetic error messages advising this content may only be watched in the UK.  To be so close to enjoying the ongoing fishing related antics; seeing the happy if slightly gormless faces of Bob and Paul peering at me, only to be denied. It’s blooming devastating.

I would happily accept having Sky News denied to me if it spared any more coverage of the hysteria gripping the Westminister bubble and the ongoing Brexit “crisis”.  It seems every time I turn on the news, I am greeted by another increasingly outraged talking head bemoaning the death of democracy in the UK. I thought this had happened a while ago with the establishment refusing to implement the result of the 2016 referendum. But no.  This it appears is due to new PM Bojo foiling the remoaners plans to scupper his negotiations with the EU by proroguing parliament.  There is much talk of a Constitutional Outrage.  It all smacks of  hypocrisy to me. The remoaners were quite happy to conspire with the far from impartial Speaker to bend the constitutional niceties to thwart Mother Theresa’s deal. Now they appear to be squealing in horror at having been out maneuvered.

Please make it stop

Next week looks set to be filled with more hysterical political and legal games.  Corbyn and the odious Speaker plan to seize control of the business of the house to force through new legislation to stop a No Deal, effectively undermining any negotiating position, tenuous as it might be. Meanwhile Comrade Corbyn’s militant cronies in Momentum are planning to blockade roads and bridges in major towns and cities, paralyzing them. This civil insurrection is being actively encouraged by Corbyn and his sinister partner John ‘Flick-knife’ McDonnel.  At the same time,  Gina Miller aided by former PM John Major is getting her face in the news again following her favorite pastime. Mounting a legal challenge against the government about something she dislikes.

Its going to be a noisy week and this febrile atmosphere is both alarming and depressing.

Make it Stop

I am thoroughly bored of the whole thing now. Just make it go away, one way or another. I wish I could resign from the electorate. Write a resignation to all of our political classes pointing out that after listening carefully to their contradictory and frankly self serving positions, I want nothing more to do with any of them. Just cancel my subscription, please.  Let me know as and when we get some grown-ups back into government and I’ll consider coming back. In the meantime, please leave me alone.

Boris and Jeremy could emulate Bob and Paul

Perhaps we should buy them all fishing gear and pack them off to rivers up and down the country. The peace and

tranquility might  do them some good and goodness knows the rest of us would benefit from the break. Or perhaps we could ask Bob and Paul to take on the running of the government.  They couldn’t do a worse job and we might all get a good laugh from it. Well, all except my wife. And on that bombshell…

Graham