Greetings Peeps, 

And a big hello to more Sfaxian Tales from a warm and sunny Mediterranean. This is more like it. The weather has been great the last few days. Flat calm seas, brilliant sunshine and wonderfully warm. A bit too warm in the accomodation, as we still have the heating on. I’m still on the Safe Scandinavia and its been a quiet week, if a very busy one from a work point of view.

The Highlights

There have been a few highlites. We had a VIP vist by the great and good from Company HQ. This was a bit 9f a surprise and I was given 12 hrs notice to prepare a presentation for them.

We also reached 100,000 offshore work hours with out an LTA, (lost time accident for the uninitiated). We have come close on a few occasions but in the past have slipped up   – literally on the last occasion as a guy slipped getting out of his bunk and sprained his ankle. To celebrate, I authorised a special meal for the troops, which was held last night and more of which later.

The VIP’s Arrive

So, Tuesday saw the Big Cheese and entourage arrive on a visit to the Platform from HQ. The Big Cheese in question is the Regional Director for Europe and the Near East, so he’s responsible for all the N Sea stuff plus the N African, Egyption and European assets. He’s a big Australian, standing at around 6’5″ and is typical in being fairly direct and rather blunt. I liked him.

I wasn’t so keen when I got the phone call the day before, telling me I had to put a presentation together for him and his crew. He wanted the background and history of the project and a current state of the nation. I was also invited to bullet point the reasons for the problems experienced to date and to offer an overview on how things should be done better next time. Great. The project kicked off in 2001 and I joined in November 2004, so no pressure there!

The Presentation

As it happens, the reasons for the difficulties the project has suffered are pretty apparent and very basic, especially with the benefit of hind sight. I ought to know where we are today and if we are going to maintain my self imposed schedule. Plus being the shy retiring type, I’m never slow at offering good advice on how to make things better.

Whilst it might not have been the slickest of presentations, at least I had something for them to view when they arrived early Tuesday morning. The venue was certainly different. Despite the wonderful facilities the Scandy has to offer, there is a dearth of projectors. We have any amount of OHP’s but no acetates, so I had to enlist the assisitance of my very resourceful South African IT man. So, we were in the cinema. Between us we were able to cobble a system up that allowed me to hook my laptop into the cinema display. The result, a presentation around 20ft across and 15 ft high. No worries about using a small font.

I struggled to get the Dolby Surround Sound to work but no matter as my audience, all eight of them were in the middle of the front row. I did feel a little like a bingo caller up on the stage, but it must have gone ok as the great man himself has gave me an ‘attaboy’ . Better yet, I still have a job. That’s got to be good.

The Verdict

I do like this lot. And it’s nice and a little flattering to know they want to keep me. However, wifey reckons I’m better off in a small company doing consulting as this offers a variety of different challenges. With my extremely short attention span, my ability to get bored, frustrated and to fall out with the management if I think they are wrong, she may have a point.

A Good Team

Work has been hectic this week. Its very much a case of all hands to the pumps, ( Seawater lift and condensate transfer in fact. ). I have promised the Company that I will be able to hand the compressor package across to them for start up by April 18th. Everyone believes this is acheivable if tight. Hence I have held a number of pep talks with the troops, to raise the effort. It’s already very good, but I also want to get feedback on what they perceive to be the potential stumbling blocks.

A couple of things have been identified which are credible. So, I am making sure we have contingency plans in place or an alternative way forward to mitigate the risks. So far it seems to be working.

I am really impressed by the dedication of some of the guys. I have been diverting returning expats to various vendors near or in some cases not so near to their homes, getting them to hand carry out materials to avoid delays. They are also responding to urgent needs from the construction crew. Cable cleats, (500 off), Cable termination kits. 1/2″ Zenon plugs For pump installations, UV detectors, drills, even spare coveralls. Its been a great effort and has helped tremendously. Its going to cost me a few beers once we get back to the real world, but it’ll be worth it.

The Celebration

Which brings me to the 100,000hr accident free celebratory meal. I asked the chef on the Miskar platform if he would suggest a special menu for the troops and arranged for the ingredients to be purchased and flown out from the beach. It did get a bit more involved when it was suggested we get a band too. So it was we had two chopper flights yesterday bringing out the musical entertainment. One for the players of a well respected Sfax 4 piece band and a second chopper for their instruments. The band set up in the restaurant and played through the dinner. They were terribly enthusiastic and God but they were loud. Not that the locals minded. They loved them.

The Spread

The food was excellent. The caterers did us proud. As the bulk of the workforce is Tunisian, it was only reasonable that the food had a very Tunisian slant. We had King prawns in garlic and chilli, calamari, grouper and mussels for the seafood lovers. A small flock of lambs were dispatched to the platform where they were then ritually dispatched, cooked and devoured. And very tasty they were too. It’s an honour to be offered the head as its considered a delicacy, so not wanting to offend , I accepted and managed to palm it off onto my Tunisian planner! We had some wondeful tender beef, turkey and the obligatory merguez sausages. fiery little buggers they were.

There was cous cous, rice and even chips for the expats. Hundreds of very sticky cake thingies with nuts and honey and figs, Lots of fresh strawberries, dates, bananas, terrifically juicy sweet oranges, pistachios, hazel nuts and almonds and an assortment of garishly colored marzipan things. The locals were in hog heaven and I must say, I quite enjoyed it too.

The celebration was timed such that the night shift ate first and then were replaced by the day shift at 19.00 hrs. I ate with the night shift and a great time was had by all.

Letting Their Hair Down

There was much waving of arms and even dancing, not something I would hope to encourage on an accomodation barge full of blokes in the normal course of things. For me though, the star turn was the night shift welding foreman. Not only was he light on his feet for a large 18 stone twinkle toes, but he also had a very, let’s call it powerful, singing voice. Cant say I recognised any of his numbers but they must be big in Sfax as the locals went wild for them.

The other amusing aspect was looking at the expat faces as they came in. I normally sit at a table near to where the band had set up, but it was far too noisy in that corner, so I sat at the opposite end, facing the door into the mess hall. We had placed signs in Arabic explaining what was going on but forgot to put the signs up in English. So, there was a steady procession of guys wandering in, double taking and mouthing various expressions along the lines of, “gosh, well I say” and, ‘what on earths going on here” if you know what I mean.

Uncle Albert

My favorite was Mivkey one of the planners. He is getting on a bit and looks like Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses. Fairly round with white hair and a big, bushy white beard. He was the only bloke brave enough to sit at the table nearest to the band. He is a bit on the deaf side which was just as well. It was EXTREMELY loud there. Sitting on his own, he was a little island in the middle of all this noise. As I walked past I shouted “Noisy isn’t it”.   “What is ? ” he shouted back. Classic.

The day shift all got showered and changed into their best togs before going in to dine and had an even wilder time. The restaurant was supposed to close at 20.30hrs but kept going until after 22.00 hrs. I wandered past around 22.15 to be met with heaps of grinning Tunisians streaming out. They were all clutching doggy bags with the sticky little cakes and fancies, fruit and cans of coke. So a successful night all in all. I havent seen the bill yet, but…….. Well it has to be done.

Home Time

And so here we are with only a few weeks left to run. I am scheduled to return to the beach next week, probably Wednesday. The Friday its back to the UK for a week or so. Huzzah. I get to spend time with Wifey and the kids. Double Huzzah.

I have to bond with the new car – if I can prize the keys out of Wifeys hands – she is quite taken with Sarah as she has christend it, er her, whatever. Some of my chums and former collegues at BHP have arranged a Clay pigeon shoot whilst I’m home, I also believe a pubcrawl may be on the cards and I might even manage a glass of shandy or two at the local hostelry.

Nocturnal Playing

I’m looking forward to getting home. I’ve finished all my X-Box games, watched all my DVD’s and read my books. Actually the X-Box was a mistake with hindsight. I find myself going to bed around 22.00hrs and deciding to have 10 mins. Only I get completely sucked in to the game and have been known to still be playing, cursing and generally getting very frustrated and bad tempered until after 2.00am then getting up at 05.30. Its not so  much enjoyable as compulsive. No wonder our kids are so strange these days if this is what they do for relaxation and fun. 

SO, on that note, bye for now and talk to you all again soon, 

Graham