(first written back in 2005)

Greetings All,

Its Sunday 3rd April. I’m stuck on the Safe Scandinavia, offshore Tunisia and I’m vaguely bad tempered and ratty. We are only days away from the demob of the Scandy, a few weeks away from handover of the project and a month or so away from my escape from Tunisia.

Problem is, there are dozens of niggling little obstacles being thrown up. These are being made into huge dramas and it’s frustrating the life out of me. Such is the joy of the last 10% of a project.

Oh and the caterers have ran out of ice-cream.

Home Comforts

It’s been a while since my last confession and since then I’ve been home and back, spent time on the beach and arrived back out here, back into my own little cabin with my home comforts and a very welcome bag of Lions Midget Gems I had forgotten about. I am easily pleased.

Home was fun if hectic. I got to play with the new car, learning more about the various toys in it. I got to spend some decent time with Wifey and the kids and even had time to potter in the garden, go shooting and work on my Honey do list.  ( You know, “Honey could you do this please!!” ) Of course it goes without saying I managed to force a couple of beers down my neck and had a few very pleasant meals out.

Shooting

The Shooting was fun. Some former colleagues and I turned up at Llandegla Shooting Ground for an evenings clay pigeon shooting and jolly good fun it was too. Not so good in terms of the accuracy. They should have been throwing up dinner plates as I may have had more chance of hitting them. I was terrible. Considering I am supposed to be the experienced shot, I was well and truly humbled by my chums. One in particular did very well on the DTL, although we were all awful on Skeet. Still, over a couple of very pleasant pints of Tetley’s hand pulled in the local hostelry, we all improved significantly and a good time was had by all.

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I managed to get out again on the Saturday with my 15 yr old budding Hot Shot. Our Skeet performance was a little better this time, although still below par. However, on the Sporting shoot, things definitely improved. I can say that in a few years tim,e I’d be better off signing all my guns over to No 1 Son as he will be definitely be able to put them to better use than me. He has a very casual laid back approach to shooting, making it look remarkably easy, so I think I’ll start to get used to basking in the reflected glory of his achievements and reminding people that, “I taught him all he knows, you know”

ATC

Number 2 son has discovered the joys of the ATC. The good old Air Training Core. He is a bit too young at 13 to be a full member but is allowed to attend the “fun” evenings. Well if he thinks the things he does now are fun, wait till he gets to the rifle shooting, gliding and RAF visits with flights in proper aeroplanes. I was an Air Cadet and my Dad was before me. We were in 473 Squadren. Not sure which one N0.2 is with? I’m also optimistic that the drill and discipline might improve his attitude. Especially towards keeping the rubbish tip that is his bedroom a bit tidier. Not to mention cleaning his shoes and not coming home from school wearing half the football pitch on his clothes. Still , for the moment he is keen and enjoying it, so that’s the important thing. Whether he will get the bug and decide to pursue an RAF career is a long way off yet, but I would think University first would still be our preferred option for him. I think he will do well whatever he decides.

Daddy and Daugher Time

As for the gentler sex, our daughter is developing into a real character. Amusing, irritating and stubborn. A typical teenage girl – I think. Or possibly hope. She is still in her “Goth” Phase and is also maintaining her veggie status, which I find both surprising and impressive. Especially given she doesn’t like vegetables, fish, eggs or cheese. Instead, she seems to live on pasta and sauce with the odd bit of Quorm thrown in for a tasteless good measure. I was really keen to spend some time with her and so did the only thing we seem to have in common. We went shopping. To Cheshire Oaks. If she ever doubted I love her, this should have proven it. God how I loath that place.

Fortunately, it turns out the feeling was mutual and she decided she didn’t like the place either. So the shopping trip turned out to be a huge success. It only took a few hours, cost me no more than a skull motif leather belt ( the goth influence – I suppose), a large mocha coffee, with pastry and gave me a chance to talk to her in a neutral environment. There were still plenty of opportunities to embarrass her of course. After all, I’m her dad its my job.. And I took full advantage of them. So all in all a very successful little trip.

Family Outing

HDinner on Saturday was at La Tasca, a Spanish Tapis restaurant in Chester. Its always a safe bet as there is enough variety to keep everyone happy. No 1 Son is into seafood in big way. Daughter is the vegetetarian and No.2 Son is the all things spicy or saucy or different, hater. They also sell a very pleasant Cava-based sangria which, whilst mildly alcoholic is something everyone likes. So a glass each for the kids is sufficient to keep them happy and make it a decent night out. We invariably order too much food and that night sampled the Paella Valencia, Gambas piri piri, pork kebabs, chicken in white wine, lamb stew, baked aubergine, stuffed mushrooms, fried potatoes, calamari, bruschetta, garlic bread, garlic prawns and heaps of other little dishes. We actually managed to shove this lot away and follow it with dessert before retiring to the local hostelry for a nightcap snifter and then home to watch Alien vs Predator. A joint decision and one which, suprisingly, we all enjyed, even Wifey. Although I think she was gently snoring by the time the first alien appeared.

The Return

Bank Holiday Monday saw me return to Tunisia via Barcelona. Anything to avoid Air-bloody-France and I have to say, Monarch may have charged me £15 for an extended legroom seat. they may have charged me £5 for breakfast. They may even have pestered me to buy game cards, duty free, headphones and booze. But their service was still infinitely better than Air France. So there. Hah

Once I arrived back in Sfax, it was definitely a case of same old same old with the traffic, including an interesting incident with a couple of lorries. There was long slow moving line of traffic at which  I was at the back. I could see some kind of tanker at the front, with a lorry up its bum. I took these two slow moving relics to be the cause of the jam. Gradually, as is the way out here, everything overtook everything else in a mad free for all. Not wishing to stand out, I joined in.

The Chase

Finally, I was just one car behind the lorry and the tanker. It looked as though the lorry was trying to overtake as it kept pulling out but there were invariably cars coming the other way, so it had to keep pulling back in. Eventually there was a gap in the oncoming traffic and the lorry pulled out and seemed to try to get past the tanker. I thought it had actually hit the back of the tanker and had broken something off before I realised it was being towed by the tanker. It was attached by a long rigid metal bar, which the guy in the lorry was using to “encourage ” the driver of the towing tanker. He would pull out until the tow bar was at right angles, tugging the tankers rear end out sideways. The reason for this? There was an old Toyota pick up laden down with fruit and veg at the very front of the queue. Mr Lorry driver, if not his tanker driving chum, was determined to get past it. Shame he was in the rear vehicle  At this point I managed to squeeze past the convoy myself. My last sight in my rear view was of the road being essentially blocked by  a tanker and a Lorry seemingly next to each other chasing a tiny pick up with a determined little towel wearing Tunisian at the wheel looking quite unconcerned.

Offshore

Back offshore its quite busy. The big push is on to complete all the construction works and get as much vendor support completed before we lose the accommodation barge.  On the bright side, I’ve been entertained by schools of  dolphins giving amazing exhibitions of formation diving and water gymnastics just off the vessel. Better than TV.

Oh, and much to Wifey’s horror I have discovered E-Bay.  I went on the site to see if I could find a Nokia 6310 phone. Its the only one BMW currently support for their Bluetooth preparation. Its also discontinued in the shops in favour of newer, pricier models. A very nice man back home has promised to try and get me one, but I thought this way I could save him the bother.

As it turns out E-Bay was bristling with 6310’s and I soon became the proud owner of said article. Well, I bid for, won and paid for the phone although I have to say it has yet to turn up an Barrett Towers. I am sure it will. However, in a fit of enthusiasm, I also found myself bidding for all kinds of things. Well, I think I have won some absolute bargains. 3 watches worth around US$5000 (RRP) which I got for a fraction of the price. Two gents automatics and a ladies. They have arrived, brand new, complete with manufacturers warranty, certificate of authenticity and manufacturers recommended list price. No idea how this works, but I’m not complaining. Wifey on the other hand………Hmmmm. I have promised to be good from now on. Probably.

And Finally……

Back at work, I plan to be one of the last off the barge. Primarily because I’m intrigued to see the anchor handling operations. Secondly because I’m dreading returning to Stalag 42 on the beach. Especially as I have been down graded from a large single occupancy bungalow to a small shared unit. The project is almost finished now, so I guess there is no need to keep me happy. I’ve also had my wonderful hugely powered Audi re-assigned and have been threatened with a Corsa. Or worse. A Clio. Oh how the mighty are fallen.

I expect to be in Country until early May this trip. We should have got the compressor started up by then and so I’ll take some time off. I’ll need to return for a couple of weeks, just to ensure the documentation is closed out and handed over in timely fashion. The big question is where to go and what to do next?

I am currently considering a couple of offers for new employ in addition to the prospective assignments my current employers have lined up. It’s a nice position to be in and I think I know the way I want to go. As usual it will largely depend on the deal I am offered but the T’s and C’s all look excellent. A lot will depend on trust, my interest in the assignment, future prospects, my not wanting to disappoint people oh and of course the money. So, watch this space for future developments.

Graham