Hi Folks,

In an earlier article, I mentioned that whilst I like art, I don’t really understand it. ( See The Art Series ).  Some so called Art, especially of the more contemporary style, is, in my opinion, total rubbish. A giant pile of bricks?  A sawn in half shark?? I mean, is that really art?  But even I was shocked to hear about the theft of a valuable piece of contemporary Art from Blenheim Palace this week.  In fact its a real Loo-Dunnit.  Read on and see what I mean.

Maurizio Cattelan

In 2016, the Solomon R Guggenheim museum in New York commissioned a piece of art by the Italian Artist Maurizio Cattelan.  The piece is called ‘America’.  Classed as a sculpture, it is an example of satirical participatory art. Participatory in that its designed to allow the public to engage and interact with it. Satirical in that it takes the piss, to use the vernacular.   Well, this piece certainly does that in a very fundamental way, for the sculpture is a fully functioning toilet, made from 18 Karat solid gold.

‘America’ in situation at the Guggenheim Museum in NewYork

‘America’

The toilet was designed to look like the Guggenheim museum’s other toilets and was installed in a regular bathroom  for visitors to the museum to use.  Its said that over 100,000 people waited in line to use the loo.  That’s a big queue, especially if you were desperate. On reflection, I suspect they weren’t all waiting at the same time.  The value of the gold its made from is estimated at over $1,000,000. Hence,   its not surprising that the ‘throne’ was protected by a security guard stationed outside the bathroom. I wonder if he also handed out soap and hand towels too?

Allegedly, the museum has linked the golden toilet to the career of Donald Trump.  I can see why. Trump is awfully fond of all things gilded and bling’y. Plus it kind of matches his hair. However, its not known what he said when it was offered on loan to the White House.  In fairness, they had asked if they could borrow a priceless Van Gogh painting; ‘Landscape with Snow‘,   but the museum curator offered them ‘America‘ instead.  Wonder if she is a Democrat.

So far, so what?  Well, here’s where it gets interesting.  It seems the loo was loaned to Blenheim Palace in the UK as part of a Cattelan exhibition and this is where it all went down the toilet really.

Blenheim Palace

Located in Oxfordshire, Blenheim Palace is a very beautiful building and a World Heritage site. Its a huge country house, much bigger than Downton Abbey  (or Highclere Castle as it really is, but everyone knows it as Downton Abbey, don’t they, thanks to the tv series. )  Blenheim is the ancestral home of the Dukes of Marlborough and the birthplace of Sir Winston Churchill. Stupidly expensive to tun, rather like the fictional Downton Abbey and possibly the inspiration for the story line, the palace was saved from ruin by funds obtained from an American Railroad Heiress upon her marriage to the 9th Duke of Marlborough at the end of the 19th century.

These days,  it is open to the public for a very reasonable fee,  (about 25 quid, since you ask) and is a pleasant way to spend a few hours. Wander around the gardens, peer into the palace, generally get  a taste of how the other half live. It also hosts contemporary art exhibitions, which brings us back to Maurizio Cattelan and his golden throne.

Blenheim Palace. Seat of the Dukes of Marlborough

The Cattelan Exhibition

As part of the Cattelan exhibition, ‘America’ was plumbed  into a WC, supposedly one used by Sir Winston himself. In the spirit of the original design intent, visitors were encouraged to book a 3 minute window to spend a penny and use the loo. Not really sure I would fancy that.  Don’t know if its a British thing, a generational thing or a personal thing, but I don’t like using public loos.  Even sold gold ones, in opulent palaces.  If humanly possible, I would far rather wait until I got home and the privacy of my own familiar, if less shiny, loo.

But I digress.  Unfortunately, Lord Edward Spencer-Churchill, the brother of the current and 12th Duke of Marlborough Charles James Spencer-Churchill, might have misjudged the security  of the sculpture. When asked about it, he responded, ” It’s not going to be the easiest thing to nick.  Firstly its plumbed in and secondly a potential thief will have no idea who last used the toilet or what they ate.”  An unsavory concept, but I take his point.  He might also have added, that being of solid gold, it is extremely heavy and that Blenheim Palace has a sophisticated security system. It would need more than your bog standard thief to tackle it,  if you’ll pardon the pun.

The Theft

Sadly, despite his reassurances, it seems sometime in the early hours of 14th September, a person or persons unknown did the unthinkable and stole the golden throne. As it was plumbed in, after it was taken a significant amount of flooding and water damage was caused. America has gone, wreaking devastation in its wake.

Aftermath of the theft of ‘America’

As you can imagine this must have been a headline writers dream.  My favorite was, ” Golden Toilet Stolen – Police have nothing to go on. ”  Love it.

A testing case even for Sherlock

Makes you wonder just how sophisticated the Blenheim security system actually is.   Presumably, it must have taken at least 2 if not more people to carry the thing. Then they would need a van or similar to transport it. Unplumbing it must have taken time and with water gushing everywhere, well that’s the sort of thing a trained security guard might be expected to notice. Its an interesting one which as I say is a real  loo-dunnit.

Scrap or Art?

Police expectations are that the toilet will never be recovered. It will doubtless have been melted down and made into gold bars shortly after the theft. I only hope they cleaned it first.  I guess, selling gold bars will be a lot easier than selling a large, toilet shaped, chunk of metal.   Less likely to raise suspicion, you might think.

With a scrap value of $1,000,000 its easy to see why it was stolen. But perhaps the thieves will try to sell it as is. Why? Well, for reasons completely unfathomable  to me, as a piece of art, the toilet is worth between $5 to $6 million. Again I have to ask ‘Why?’, backed up by a, ‘Really?’   It is a toilet when all said and done.  At the risk of talking crap,  (sorry, I can’t resist the puns), why should a toilet be worth 5 or 6 times the value of the material its made from. Especially after what over 100,000 people have done in it. Eeaw!  Doesn’t bear thinking about.

The ‘America’ Legend

Apparently, the police have arrested a 66 year old in connection with the theft. Wonder what gave him away?  Loo roll stuck to his shoe? Gold flakes on the end of his monkey wrench?  Who knows.  I kind of hope ‘America‘ isn’t recovered and goes into legend. Like Shergar or Lord Lucan.  It will make for a much better story and perhaps one day, they will make a film about it, The Blenheim Job, or should that be Blenheim Jobby. Poor old Winston would have laughed his socks off.

And on that slightly tasteless note, I think I shall stop.

Talk soon,

Graham